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Old Cold Blues October 14, 2008

Posted by alwaysjan in Health, Teaching.
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It’s Day 13 of my not-so-common cold, and today I lost my voice.  This does not bode well as when you’re a teacher you have to talk all day long. I’d like to believe my voice sounds sultry, even sexy, but in reality, I sound like a bullfrog in mating season one minute and Mickey Mouse the next.

For a week now, I’ve been taking anything that ends with -Quil, so I’m officially on Elvis Time. (see Quotation Rotation #1).  “Why don’t you just use sign language,” my oh-so-thoughtful students suggested. Yes, I do sign a lot of directions in my class.  But really, it’s not like I know how to sign, “Quit thumping that pencil.” (or I’m going to stick it in your ear). That, by the way, is an imperative sentence – something my students need to know next week for The Test.

I get two colds a year.  It could be worse, considering I’m surrounded by 20 kids whose first impulse when they feel like throwing up is to run toward me. “Teacher!  I feel sick!”  With outstretched arms, I form a cross with my fingers, as if to ward off vampires.  “Move away from the teacher, ” I repeat calmly, as I back away from them and toss them a plastic grocery bag. Whew! Another ticking biological bomb diffused.

The classroom is one big germfest, so I’m not the only one sick.  I looked over today and saw that my new student from Korea had a stalactite of snot hanging from his nose. We were just finishing the spelling pretest.  I’ve got some really good spellers who asked, “What about a challenge word?”  I didn’t hesitate. “Snotty,” I said, straight-faced, as I handed Mr. Stalactite a tissue.  In my class you get one tissue per day.  “Uno solamente,” I told him, forgetting, in my -Quil induced haze, that he speaks Korean.  If I didn’t ration tissues, the kids would go through two boxes a day, just so they can get out of their seat to get one, and then get out of their seat again to throw it away.  Repeat this ritual ten times a day – you get the picture.

I like to look at the glass (of Robitussin, that is) as half full, so I’m trying to look on the bright side. All my students spelled “snotty” correctly.

Comments»

1. blogforthoughts911 - October 14, 2008

That is so real. I totally can relate and you said it like i was there. Great Story! Thanks!

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2. Bev from england - October 15, 2008

you poor thing , i get very few colds and when i do they usually last a few days a week at the most. you have my every sympathy !!!

bullfrog/mickey mouse aside, i bet it does sound sexy !!!!

….

no hugs cos im not coming too close 😉

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3. elissestuart - October 16, 2008

so sad – I would make you chicken soup *jewish penicillin” and drive it up, but that would take a whole tank of gas & your hubby’s soup is better than mine.

no hugs from me either, unless I spray you with Lysol first. ; )

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4. Catherine Sherman - October 21, 2008

I miss seeing you in person, but this is one time that I will happily admire you — and your hilarious writing — from afar!

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