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The Right to Smite August 8, 2010

Posted by alwaysjan in Food for Thought.
Tags: , , , , , ,

Hmmm.  It’s so tempting.  Who’s been naughty?

As a supporter of  “No on Prop. 8,” or as I like to think of it, “No on H8,” no one was happier than me to see the ban on gay marriage in California declared unconstitutional this week by the 9th District  Federal Court.

Having been married for 33 years to the same man, I’m not concerned that gay marriage makes my marriage less than sacred. Geez, I’m surprised in this day in age that anyone wants to make a life-long commitment to each other. People complain that gays are promiscuous, yet when they want to settle down and get married, some people get their undies in a bunch. Talk about a double double standard!

So in the wake of recent uplifting news (Hey, gays can now get married in Argentina and Mexico City!), I received a forward on Facebook entitled a Letter to Dr. Laura (Schlessinger) that had me LOL. Leave it to those snoops at Snopes to get the skinny on this letter, which it turns out has been floating around since 2000.  It’s a hilarious read and “best read as an essay offering a counter to the “homosexuality is wrong because the Bible says so” argument.  It takes the bull by the horns, but explains why you shouldn’t cook the bull.   I strongly suggest you read it, or I might just have to smite you!

Letter to Dr. Laura

Photo Credit:  Free Canuckistan


1. Tracy - August 8, 2010

Hey Jan~

My feeling has always been that we’re like amoeba trying to understand & explain the cosmos. For anyone to purport to understand a concept like God is ludicrous.

Just try to do good by other people- keep track of your own example…let others do the same, eh? It’s not that hard…


Wise words, and like you say, it’s not that hard…Jan



2. tina - August 8, 2010

Burning bull really does stink.

Tina – If you have neighbors burning bull (or bs) on the Sabbath, I think they needed to be added to your “To Smite” list. 🙂 Jan


3. Tracy - August 8, 2010

I am aware, as a lesbian, what it is to be “different”. But what I feel is that most of us don’t truly feel “connected”- otherwise, there wouldn’t be this divide in all sorts of ways…It’s difficult to teach or impart compassion, as this seems to be something ingrained as a very young child.

All I can hope is that healthy understanding, healthy self-awareness is reported on & pushed to the front burner. I posted previously in NPD & I feel it’s more common than most are aware of. So much of this particular subject requires introspection & compassion- the two are linked,


Tracy, You’ve got a great attitude, and I agree that compassion, which enables us to walk in someone else’s shoes, is a quality nurtured in early childhood. As a teacher, I hate to think that any child is ever made to feel “less than.” I have two sons and the younger one is gay. I want him to have the option of saying, “I do.”


4. Janelle - August 10, 2010

Great news! I’ve been on a sort of news fast, and if you can believe it – I learned of the decision on your blog! It was also the week that gray wolves were put back on the endangered species list by a judge here in Montana, so I got to celebrate the fact that there won’t be a hunting season on wolves in Montana and Idaho this fall. All I can say is that good karma and love eventually wins out after all, and we can’t wait to see gay marriage legalized all over the country, even here in Montana. 🙂

Janelle – It’s funny cause once you know gay couples, the whole concept of gay marriage becomes such a non-issue. These are people fighting for the right to make a commitment, while 50 percent of all heterosexual marriages end in divorce. I dare say that “Traditional Marriage” should by put on the Endangered Species list! Glad to hear the wolves will catch a break. One of my husband’s relatives spearheaded reintroducing the wolves back into Yellowstone Park way back when. Jan


5. Tracy - August 10, 2010

Hi Jan,

I have to ask if you can think, or introspect w/o bias, whether your own ideals/opinions would be different if not for the fact of a gay son?

I ask this because I find that if we, ourselves, have a stake in a certain view, this colours the view itself? Not an affront, as I appreciate your support in your son…I only know that I’ve always wished for life to be easier for everyone who appears to be trying the best they can…unrelated to my own awareness of my sexuality as an adult,


Tracy – Long before my son came out, I had many gay friends (I majored in art). My husband (also an art major) has always had gay friends. Some of his best friends now are gay. I felt different as a child (I had the geeky glasses and was shy), so I’ve always had compassion for the underdog. I don’t have a religious bone in my body, so I didn’t have those issues to overcome.

I remember my son asking about a particular waiter at a restaurant we frequented. Did I think he was gay? I gave him my take on gays. In retrospect, I believe my attitude and my husband’s are what made our son feel it was safe to come out at 14 and a half.

Ultimately, marriage is a civil contract to protect the property rights and children. If a couple wants their marriage sanctioned by a religious organization, they have the right to do so, but they still have to go down to the courthouse to “make it legal.” So the answer to your question is YES – I would support the right for gays to marry even if one of my sons was not gay. I find that the younger generation, overall, is more enlightened on this issue. I have hope. Jan


6. Bev from England - August 21, 2010

so glad to read this……none of my children are gay but im still 100% in support of gay rights….

im pro choice….. why shouldnt gay people be able to marry…and divorce 😉 like the rest of us !



7. Tracy - August 21, 2010

Hi back Jan,

Thanks for your reply. Yes, in the current westernized culture- marriage is tied to a couple’s rights. Without some sort of acknowledgment, gay partners have no access to their loved one if they are hospitalized, die, etc…it’s horrible…Likewise, they are left w/o health insurance which is extended to hetero couples.

Most insulting is the weird & (imho) mentally- strange extension that the naysayers promote where “next is marriage of man & animal”- I really have no idea how to address such a f*cked up argument…I am spiritual, but would never ascribe to any sort of organized religion because they exclude too many.

For me, I understand the concept of same-sex marriage- but personally want nothing to do with the abysmal, hetero- variety & it’s 50% failure rate. But, unfortunately, this is all there is at this time- w/o creating a “secondary/lesser-than” commitment…

After my last relationship failure (I’ve only had 3R in my 49 yrs.)- I’m prepared to enter a female monastery- but fully will support & fight the right for others (crazy sods- lol),


T – There was a funny cartoon when Prop. 8 was first up for a vote. A person was asking a man (his wife standing in the background) about the right of gays to marry. He replied, “They have the right to be miserable just like the rest of us!”

While back in the Midwest, which is more conservative, I read an editorial in the local newspaper. The author agreed that the state of marriage was sad indeed, but clung to the idea that heterosexual marriage and monogamy were the backbone of Western Civilization. (I’m not sure what the backbone of Eastern Civilization is. LOL)

I find it ridiculous when people say this will lead to humans marrying animals. For centuries it was illegal for Blacks and White to marry. Geez, that fell by the wayside and the world didn’t come tumbling down. What makes it more difficult here is that although the state acknowledges the marriage, the federal government does not. I have a friend who is a Lesbian. She and her wife are legally married, but when it comes time to file their federal taxes, they have to file as individuals. It all gets very convoluted. Now that they have a baby, I’m not sure how this will all work out. Eventually civil unions might be the answer for everyone – gay or straight. I subscribe to the credo, “Minds work best when open.” Thanks for your thoughtful reply. BTW my friends from England will be here in less than 6 weeks. I can hard wait to hear them say “carpark!” Jan


8. Tracy - August 22, 2010

Considering the sad state of things, I’d have to question that Western civilization has a backbone at all? Seems like a pretty spineless bunch, to me… 😛

I’ll add a few other thoughts to the “controversial equation”. Now I already know, from having stated this to others, that there will be a dismissal of my opinion- but I have encountered this scenario many, many times.

At issue is not simply an aversion to homosexuality (& generally under flawed, “religious reasoning” (what an oxymoron, that is)…but even more upsetting to those opposed is that their own sexuality is not as solid as they purport. I have personally seen individuals who were vehemently opposed to all things gay, who were absolutely hateful & disdaining of gays- only to come out (or be outed) later in their lives.

As with all discrimination (it causes anger because it’s deep-down indefensible), it’s usually based in fear. I have found that those who are secure in their own sexuality are the least likely to have issues with same-sex relationships. Those who lash out, are not.

It’s a generalization, but I’ve seen it enough to give it merit. I’m speaking of people I’ve actually known- you can obviously point out those who were anti-gay in the media/politics/religious sectors who were later “outed”.

I also find it disconcerting that hetero-bigots seem to want to image sex acts between same-sex couples in support of their bigotry- as if all we are to them is that, and no more? It’s pretty weird to me & falls in line with what I previously mentioned…

RE: children of same-sex couples. Funny you mention your lesbian friend. I was thinking of what would happen if one partner donated her egg for the other to carry. Technically, there would be three legal parents, right? I haven’t looked to see if this is already being done & played out somewhere, but it’s interesting to consider?

I have to thank you, Jan, for your tolerance & compassion, for setting a good example as a fair-minded hetero- lol, and for giving other folks a venue to discuss these issues. I hope, in time, there truly will be equality for all,

T, I couldn’t have said it better myself. Those who are secure with their own sexuality are not threatened by gays. I have several friends whose fathers came out in their 40’s and even 50’s. I also know several women who decided their marriages were shams.
It’s funny cause I’ve never thought of myself as a fair-minded hetero – but just fair-minded. My son often reminds me that being gay is just one aspect of who he is and doesn’t define him. I’d hate to think that what I do behind closed doors defines me! Some people like to think everything is black and white, but as I get older (and hopefully wiser), I see that gray is a lovely color/colour! Jan


9. Tracy - August 22, 2010

“It’s funny cause I’ve never thought of myself as a fair-minded hetero – but just fair-minded. My son often reminds me that being gay is just one aspect of who he is and doesn’t define him. I’d hate to think that what I do behind closed doors defines me! ”

Right? And that’s exactly what I mean when I say how really bizarre it is for straight folks to constantly focus on that one (& a personal one at that!), aspect of gays & lesbians…I don’t look at a straight couple & immediately attempt to image their sex lives- but that seems to be the first thing that comes to the hetero-mind when speaking of gays/gay rights. I just want to slap them & ask if they’d appreciate being reduced to a sex act & nothing more? But, I suppose that’s the hallmark of bigotry- diminish someone enough, and that then gives you free-reign to exercise your superiority over them, eh?

What a bunch of hypocrites. (disclaimer- obviously I do not believe this is true of all straight folks- some are downright wonderful- 😉

Anyway- I’m off to get the kiddies ready for school tomorrow. Thanks for your reply.



10. shoutabyss - August 23, 2010

Snopes is always so interesting. I already knew most of that Dr. Laura stuff but it’s nice to see it confirmed by a source you trust.

I read the link so I guess I safely avoided being smitten. 🙂

Shout – My in-laws have forwarded such pretty outrageous stuff over the years. My older son automatically goes to Snopes and sends it right back at ’em. Gee, I woke up so ready to smite, but I’ll cross you of my list – for now. 🙂 Jan


11. dr laura schlessinger – YouTube – Role Reversal: Dad Stays-at-Home, Mom Works - September 29, 2010

[…] The Right to Smite « planetjan […]


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