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My Friend is Married to a Narcissist – To Tell or Not » designall.dll

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1. Mitzi - July 14, 2018

My sister’s husband is a full-blown narcissist and she is fully codependent and oblivious to abuse that he has generated for 25 years. He is a hypochondriac and he pampers himself.
My sister was more than willing to lift the 50 pound dog food bags and concrete blocks. Today she needs to have back surgery and can’t even stand up straight and spends half of her life in bed on painkillers. she said the other day that I can’t believe he’s getting younger and younger he can now lift up those dog food bags he’s so strong. OMG so gullible so naive and still the light bulb doesn’t go on that she’s been duped and used and manipulated.. She has worked full-time the last 30 years and he stayed home. She gave him all of her paychecks and he would Dole out to her $200 a month in the kitchen drawer. She said she always tells her husband everything and has no secrets while he is cunning and manipulates the truth. every time I’ve ever tried to enlighten her she has told me that I’m just jealous. Now that she is retired and not bringing in the big fat paychecks I’m afraid he will see her more valuable dead than alive. let alone the fact that I don’t think he’s going to allow her to get those stem cell injections into her back because they have to be paid out of pocket and all of the money is his money so she’s not going to get the right Medical Care anyway she’ll have to have a surgery that’s permitted in their insurance. I just hate to see my little sister follow around this big bully who essentially he has broken her in two probably benefit from killing her.

Mitzi,
So sorry you’ve had to witness this, but with decades of this abusive behavior under her belt, your sister is not going to change. He could break both her knees and knock her over the head with a hammer and she’d still say it was an accident. Or that she deserved it. It’s so painful to watch a loved one squander their life and energy on a person who doesn’t give a sh*t. There’s ultimately nothing you can do. As they say, “The door to the cage opens from the inside.”
So sorry.
Always,
Jan

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alwaysjan - July 30, 2018

Hi Mitzi, I usually just respond in italics at the bottom of a post, but for some reason that’s not working. I get tired of seeing my face. Ha! I’m so sorry as your sister has decades of denial under her belt and he could probably break her legs and whack her with a hammer and she’d still maintain that it was an accident. It’s very hard to witness, but there’s really nothing you can do. This is her life. One of my favorite adages is, ‘The door to the cage opens from the inside.”

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