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Can A Narcissist Love? July 31, 2014

Posted by alwaysjan in Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
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hand animals

Look at me! I can be anything you want…until I tire of the game.


Okay, it’s been ages since I’ve posted, but I’ve been recovering from my second TKR which involved a lot of lounging on the couch and reading stacks of books from this new place I’ve discovered called the public library.

I’ve also spent way too much time on the internet. When my husband tried to get us a better phone plan, the guy asked him if he had a teenager in the house. “Someone in your house is downloading a LOT of data!” he announced ominously.  Now I’m worried I might be grounded!

I’ve come across several articles about Narcissism that resonated with me. I’m so over the media blitz equating taking a selfie with being a narcissist. It’s proof that there IS such a thing as bad publicity, as it’s misleading the public about a very real personality disorder – Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

On Huffpost’s The Blog, I came across a great piece by Melissa Schenker, Can A Narcissist Love Me? I love it when I read other people’s writing and find myself impressed with how clearly they identify behaviors, which were once to me almost impossible to describe, let alone fathom.

At the bottom is a link to the book Sweet Relief From the Everyday Narcissist written by Ms. Schenker and Tina Moody available on Amazon. It’s also available via Kindle for $9.99. Hit “Look Inside” and scroll down to the Table of Contents and click on each chapter to read extended excerpts. “Most problems you experience with a narcissist hark back to the fact that in his or her subconscious conception of the world, he does not know that you exist as an individual.” Just reading the excerpts was a fresh breath of air, so I’m putting this on my Must Read list.


1. Donna - July 31, 2014

Hello, Jan it’s great to hear from you. Hope all is well with you and yours. Will you be teaching again this coming school year? I am looking forward to reading this piece. Ran into my EX-friend at a family friends’s Father’s funeral and he was pleasant. However, his youngest child has moved out of his home. I can only assume he is getting worse.

Take Care,


Hey Donna,
You sound good! Yes, I’m teaching again and have only two weeks before I have to return to school. Hoping to make this my last year though $ is always the issue. I suppose if you’re going to run into someone, a funeral is the place to do it, as everyone is on their best behavior? Perhaps your mantra was “You’re dead to me!” >wink< Thanks for your kind words.
Always, Jan


2. Catherine Sherman - August 2, 2014

This sounds like a great read. A lot of people think they’ll be able to easily spot a Narcissist and thus avoid him. They don’t realize that the difficult person right in their everyday life might be a Narcissist. They may be trying to placate this person out of family loyalty, etc., without realizing that there’s little hope of the relationship ever being pleasant. This book sounds as if it’ll help people to cope, especially if you can’t completely excise the N from your life. Thanks for posting.

I’m hoping the book helps your friend. So often we find ourselves inexplicably involved in difficult relationships that we chalk up to ….. you name it! Often, we don’t realize there’s a more sinister force at work like a personality disorder. Knowing that such things exist can make a world of difference as able to put event into perspective and we regain perspective. Jan


3. G.C.M. - September 18, 2014

Your blog is a “breath of fresh air” for myself. Very funny and light feeling on such a heavy topic. It really does leave one feeling heavy and icky just being exploited once by such disturbed characters.
-A new fan.

Thanks. When I wrote my first post on NPD, I worked hard to strike the right balance between the insanity of this disorder and trying not to sound bitter. Helping people see it for what it is/isn’t and giving them the info the need to move on with their lives has been gratifying. Also receiving comments such as yours. I can now laugh about what happened, but that’s seven years after the fact. Time heals, but you’ve got to give TIME time.
A, Jan


4. bev - September 25, 2014

i bet like me ur glad ur here and not there….. i dont know about u but i think back n think WTF ??? it feels like it all happened to a different person in a different time…
have to say if anyone seems too good to be true im very wary these days… the soul is healed but the scars remain ! x

Agreed. It seems like a bad movie starring someone else. Sometimes the scars help us remember the painful places we’ve been and that we do heal and life goes on. Always, Jan


5. Lynette d'Arty-Cross - January 14, 2015

I’m recovering from my second total hip remplacement so I know what you mean! Thanks for the suggested reading – good piece from Huffpost. Hope you’re back (steadily!) on your feet again.

Yikes. I’m hoping it’s not the same hip! My neighbor just had this done as well. I’m steady on my feet, but I’m also very aware that my knees are “mechanical.” I’m trying to lose 20 lbs. to see if that makes a difference. Always, Jan


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