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Old Cold Blues October 14, 2008

Posted by alwaysjan in Health, Teaching.
Tags: , , ,
4 comments

It’s Day 13 of my not-so-common cold, and today I lost my voice.  This does not bode well as when you’re a teacher you have to talk all day long. I’d like to believe my voice sounds sultry, even sexy, but in reality, I sound like a bullfrog in mating season one minute and Mickey Mouse the next.

For a week now, I’ve been taking anything that ends with -Quil, so I’m officially on Elvis Time. (see Quotation Rotation #1).  “Why don’t you just use sign language,” my oh-so-thoughtful students suggested. Yes, I do sign a lot of directions in my class.  But really, it’s not like I know how to sign, “Quit thumping that pencil.” (or I’m going to stick it in your ear). That, by the way, is an imperative sentence – something my students need to know next week for The Test.

I get two colds a year.  It could be worse, considering I’m surrounded by 20 kids whose first impulse when they feel like throwing up is to run toward me. “Teacher!  I feel sick!”  With outstretched arms, I form a cross with my fingers, as if to ward off vampires.  “Move away from the teacher, ” I repeat calmly, as I back away from them and toss them a plastic grocery bag. Whew! Another ticking biological bomb diffused.

The classroom is one big germfest, so I’m not the only one sick.  I looked over today and saw that my new student from Korea had a stalactite of snot hanging from his nose. We were just finishing the spelling pretest.  I’ve got some really good spellers who asked, “What about a challenge word?”  I didn’t hesitate. “Snotty,” I said, straight-faced, as I handed Mr. Stalactite a tissue.  In my class you get one tissue per day.  “Uno solamente,” I told him, forgetting, in my -Quil induced haze, that he speaks Korean.  If I didn’t ration tissues, the kids would go through two boxes a day, just so they can get out of their seat to get one, and then get out of their seat again to throw it away.  Repeat this ritual ten times a day – you get the picture.

I like to look at the glass (of Robitussin, that is) as half full, so I’m trying to look on the bright side. All my students spelled “snotty” correctly.