How Did You Get Your Name? November 8, 2009
Posted by alwaysjan in Teaching.Tags: American Names, Angel Child Dragon Child, Art Lesson Using Name, Baby Names, Family Names, First names, Humor, Parenting, Teaching, Third Grade, Unusual Names
7 comments
I could have been named Susan or Barbara, but the relatives in California nabbed those first. So, I was named Janet. When I got married my husband started calling me Jan. I was fine with that. Because I was such a happy child, my nickname was “Jan-ny Gay.” But that was back before…oh, you know.
When I was in LAUSD’s District Intern Program, (but that was back when there was one), one Saturday morning, our class was asked to stand in a circle and tell how we got our name. It was fascinating exercise, as it was a diverse group.
There were two people whose parents had taken their names from rock ‘n roll songs. Several others had been named after a character in a book or movie. There were the usual biblical names, the juniors, and family names. One man had been named after his father’s best friend who had died.
Several Asians had decided their names were too hard to pronounce, so they chose an “American” name. I’m afraid my Susan, Barbara, Janet story seemed pretty lame in comparison. Why couldn’t my parents have been more creative? Years later when I was a sub in San Gabriel, I smiled whenever I met Elvis Wong (and there were FOUR of them). It reminded me of the book The Year of the Boar and Jackie Robinson. The main character’s American name is Shirley Temple Wong.
Any teacher can recite an exotic list of names of the students they’ve taught over the years. There were twin boys, D’wayne and D’won, and twin girls, Eunique and Especial. Klinsmann. Toshiba. Cinnamon Jade. I could go on and on. Maybe it’s an Urban Legend, but teachers always swear they’ve heard of a girl named Chlamydia.
Several teacher friends are hoping to get pregnant. They want to do so before every name carries with it the image of a child they’ve already taught.
Recently, I did an art lesson on lines for my third graders using their names. This must be something that third graders have done since the dawn of time, because I remember doing it when I was in third grade. The pharmacist had typed my name as “Janette” on a prescription label. (That was when the pharmacist typed.) I thought “Janette” was was way cooler than “Janet,” so that’s how I wrote my name. My teacher was surprised. My mother was not happy. And me? I was just Janet.
For the “Names” art lesson, students first draw a border the width of their ruler on 8×10 paper. Next, they write their names and color them in with black marker. They use a variety of lines to fill in the background. Diagonal. Wavy. Zigzag. Organic. Have them fill in the lines with colored pencils, as using markers is overkill and you don’t get all of those cool details and colors.
This year, I decided to take the project a step further. We’d just finished reading Angel Child, Dragon Child about a little girl who comes to the U.S. from Vietnam. It was hard, at first, for the students to pronounce the Vietnamese names in the story, but they got better. I always tell children that it’s a sign of respect when you call someone by their given name.
My students’ homework was to find out how they got their name. I wasn’t concerned about the origin of their name. I just wanted students to talk to their parent/s about why they chose that name for their child. (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said, ” Your parents spent a lot of time choosing your name, so you can at least write it on your paper!”)
The form I sent home is below. I was surprised that every child actually talked to a parent (this year every child is living with a parent) and returned the form the next day. Okay, one girl told me her name meant “African princess with chocolate colored skin.” She was so busted, but by the time I called home the next day, she was in the midst of a conversation with her mother about how she really did get her name. It’s a fun project. If only I had that girl Chlamydia in my class this year!
How I Got My Name
Last week we read “Angel Child, Dragon Child.” The main character was a girl named Ut, who was from Vietnam. We learned that “Ut” was her “at home name,” or nickname. We also learned that in Vietnam, people say their surname, or last name, first.
How did you get your first name? You need to talk to a parent and find out why they chose this special name for you. They had thousands of names to choose from!
1. Were you named after someone in your family?
2. We’re you named after someone famous?
3. Does your name mean something special?
4. Or, did your parents just like the sound of your name?
Find out how you got your name and write about it below. Do you an “American name” or a nickname? Use the back if you need to.
Photo Credit: Mark Shaver for The Times
Five Ways Facebook Can Get You Fired November 3, 2009
Posted by alwaysjan in Worth Knowing.Tags: Education, Ethics, Ethics violations by teachers, Facebook, Five Ways Facebook Can Get You Fired, Humor, My Space, Privacy Settings on Facebook, Social Networking, Teachers and Facebook, Teaching, Technology
4 comments
I spent most of the weekend writing a paper for my masters program about an ethics violation related to education. I took a break to sit on the front porch to hand out candy to 300+ trick-or-treaters. I only observed a few ethics violations there. A couple of kids circled around thinking I wouldn’t notice they were double dipping. What they don’t know is I have a smooth slight of hand move. The best part of the evening was when a little girl handed us a handwritten note that said, “Thanks for the great candy!” Pig Maisie, in her witch’s hat, almost flew off the porch.
But back to Facebook. When we were given the assignment to locate an “ethics violation,” my study buddy Teresa, (or FSB as she likes to refer to herself) found that googling “Teachers fired for…” yielded a treasure trove of examples. She settled on the high school art teacher who was fired for making “butt art” (paintings made using his butt and other parts south of the equator) that he put on YouTube. The artist changed his last name and wore a mask, but still ended up as the butt of jokes and was ultimately fired. (Before you roll paint on your backside, you might want to check out his print, Tulip Butts for inspiration.)
I ran across a story about a teacher in North Carolina who listed on her facebook profile that one of her “Interests” was, “Teaching the chitlins in the most ghetto school in Charlotte.” Ouch! Her attorney cited the school’s demographics as proof that she WAS teaching in a “ghetto” and was just telling the truth. He was mum on the “chitlins” comment though. It was unclear if her privacy settings were in place. She was fired two weeks later.
The unnamed teacher and four other teachers in the district were “outed” when the local TV station trolled through Facebook looking for anyone with a connection to the school district. That alone should send shivers up your spine.
As teachers, we’re held to a higher standard because we’re supposed to be role models for children. That said, teachers are people. We have opinions. But we’re living in an era where the line between a teacher’s professional life and private life is often blurred with help from social networking sites like Facebook and My Space. Just like I tell my third graders, don’t put anything in writing that you don’t want your mother to read or to have read in front of the whole class. It seems like common sense, but there seems to be a shortage of that going around.
I came across Five Ways Facebook Can Get You Fired. It should be mandatory reading for anyone on Facebook or My Space (actually anyone who owns a computer). It gives five examples of how people lost their jobs because of Facebook. Stuff you’d never think about, but stuff you need to know.
The site lists 5 Commandments for keeping your job:
1. Thou Shall Not Reveal – embarrassing details in your status update (or Twitter, or anywhere else for that matter!)
2. Thou Shall Not Post Photos – that in anyway could be construed as being credibility damaging in any way.
3. Thou Shall Not Be Negative – Overly negative, hateful sentiments towards any issue, no matter how strong you feel about it, will certainly rub someone in the wrong way.
4. Thou Shall Not Think You Are Protected – under the First Amendment you have the right to say what you believe via blogs and social networks, but your employer is free to fire you for just about any reason.
5. Thou Shall Not Think They Are Not Listening – Big Brother is most likely watching you as 66% of bosses monitor employees’ Internet connections.
We’re living in a highly connected world, so you need to be careful what you say on-line. It could literally come back to bite you in the butt.
Photo Credit: The Figure 5 by Robert Indiana.
Celebrating the Devil’s Birthday October 29, 2009
Posted by alwaysjan in Teaching.Tags: Education, Halloween, Halloween Celebrations at School, Halloween in France, Halloween is the Devil's Birthday, Holidays, Humor, Teaching, The Devil's Birthday, Third Grade
9 comments
It was just a matter of time. Sure enough, last week one of my students said, “My mom told me Halloween is the Devil’s birthday.” “Well, that can’t be,” I replied. “Cause my birthday is in April.” A quizzical look. Sometimes, I just can’t help myself.
I try to be hopelessly PC. ”Well, we all have different ideas and opinions. That’s what makes our world so interesting!” I say through clenched teeth. At my school, we arrange for alternative activities for children whose parents don’t want them to participate in the Halloween parade.
Several years back, I had a family who had called their daughter’s first grade teacher to suggest prayers for her. They’d also called to make sure that the teacher wasn’t planning on coming to school dressed as a witch on Halloween. I’m not going to even go THERE. I don’t have to worry ’bout stuff like that since I keep my broom parked in the corner. I tell the kids that’s my transportation. Hey, can’t you tell I’m kidding?
When I taught a bilingual second grade class, my students had no idea how much Spanish I really knew. (The answer was not much.) But one day I was sweeping up a mess and noticed two girls watching me. I said, “Una bruja, si?” (A witch, yes?) The look on their faces was priceless.
My one complaint about Halloween is that if I see one more Scream mask, I’m really going to scream. Okay, make that two. In Los Angeles, it’s usually hotter than Hades on Halloween. Herding a bunch of squirmy kids around in their itchy polyester costumes IS a devil of a job.
My school has a parade, though only children dressed as storybook characters can win a prize. So, we have a lot of grim reapers who are just plain grim since they can’t carry their scythes and pirates without swords. When it comes time to change into their costumes for the parade, I’m in charge of the girls. There is always a plethora of princesses. When I taught fourth grade, I couldn’t help but notice that one of the “princesses” looked more like a Vegas show girl. It was only later we learned she was actually 14! Ay carumba!
My friend Cathy sent me a link to a great story from The New York Times on how the French are starting to warm up to the idea of “Alowine.” Notice how it has “wine” in it. It’s called Pumpkin Eaters, and it’s hilarious.
The Village People Save Halloween October 18, 2009
Posted by alwaysjan in Holidays, Parenting.Tags: Halloween, Halloween at the Hotel Chelsea, Halloween Costumes, Halloween in New York City, Halloween Nostalgia, Halloween Parties, Parenting, Trick-or-Treating
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Halloween in New York City in the 1980s was a tough call. The big draw was the Village Halloween Parade. But how many gay guys can you watch prancing around dressed as poodles in costumes made from pink plastic bags? (The answer is quite a few!)
The trouble was that my sons, Taylor, who was in third grade, and Ian, who was in Kindergarten, were eager to go through that American rite of passage called trick-or-treating. In Manhattan, that meant going from deli to deli and getting a piece of candy or maybe having a slice of cheesy pizza dropped into your bag at the local pizza parlor. Not quite the Halloween of my childhood.
When I was a kid, Halloween was a pretty simple affair. You carved a real pumpkin and it always had triangle eyes. None of that artsy stuff you see nowadays. If you were hard up for a costume, being a hobo was always an option, but that was before there were homeless people. You could wear your dad’s shirt and carry a stick with a bandana tied to it. Now those same bandanas signal gang affiliations. Sigh. Word traveled quickly as to which families were handing out the “good stuff” was. I’m talking homemade popcorn balls and caramel apples (before they had razor blade fillings).
Fast forward. We were living at the Hotel Chelsea on West 23rd Street. Built in 1883, the hotel is 10 stories tall and has an ornate wrought iron staircase winding through its center. The residents were mostly “artists,” (code word for eccentrics). We moved in the year after Sid Vicious killed his girlfriend Nancy. There were residents who swore the elevator always stopped at the first floor, even when no one had pressed the button, because that’s where Sid had lived.
At the Hotel Chelsea, it was pretty much Halloween year round. We once walked into the wrong apartment once and found ourselves in a casino. It’s not like the boys could go from apartment to apartment trick-or-treating. No, we would have to bite the bullet (the silver one intended for werewolves) and throw a Halloween Party.
Other parents, who were equally desperate for something to do on Halloween, quickly RSVP’d. We enlisted the help of some of the hotel’s residents, some who we only knew in passing. I was willing to buy the candy for them to hand out, but they insisted they would to do it. But what it they flaked – or OD’d?
Mad scientist Taylor wielding pliers.
I ordered a sh*tload of plasticky crap from the Oriental Trading Company. Skulls, spiders – Typical boy stuff.
I made a huge platter of spaghetti with eyeball meatballs (olives) along with vampire repelling garlic bread. Jake’s mom, Arlene, who was a caterer, arrived bearing the most incredible cupcakes I’d ever seen. They had black frosting and a green plastic witch’s finger protruded from each one.
We set up games out in the hallway. Stick a skewer into a bowl of flour and try to hit the lady apple. (What a mess that was!) There was a little fishing rod with hook on the end of it so kids could try to snag a skull ring out of a jar. This was all time filler until the main event. Finally, it was time to go trick-or-treating.
I shouted out an apartment number and a dozen children raced up the stairs with parents trailing behind. From floor to floor they raced, maybe ten apartments in all. The last stop was at our friend Susan’s. She was a teacher and lived in the penthouse. I expected candy. Instead she’d gone all out with spooky lighting and a scary soundtrack. Her apartment was already a jungle filled with terrariums of exotic animals. When she had the tarantula walk across her shoulder, the kids were mesmerized. But then, so was I. This was the grand finale. But wait, there’s more!
My husband’s office was across the hall from where we lived. It had a wrought iron balcony that overlooked 23rd Street. Flying high on sugar, the kids tied rubber bugs to fish lines then dropped them down to street level. When someone walked by, they’d jerk the line to make the bug jump. When unsuspecting people were startled, they laughed hysterically.
Everyone swore it was the best Halloween ever. And it was. A motley crew of people who wanted to create a lasting memory for children made it happen. Yes, it takes a village – Or in this case, the Village People.
Moxey, whose blog Middleground is on my blogroll, wrote a hilarious post about her own ambivalence about Halloween and the inevitable Costume Drama in outfitting her eight-year-old son, Spawn. It’s a fun read. This year, the party is at her house!
Photo Credit: Spooky Spinner by Mark Williams at markrosswilliams.com
Red Ribbon Week October 13, 2009
Posted by alwaysjan in Teaching.Tags: Drug Awareness, Drug Education, Education, Jellybeans Up Your Nose poem, Red Ribbon, Red Ribbon Week Ideas, Teaching, The Origin of Red Ribbon Week, Third Grade
3 comments
The first year I taught at my school, I was informed that my class needed to make a poster for Red Ribbon Week. Red Ribbon what? Something about “Saying no” to drugs. I was used to the DARE program that my sons attended in middle school. Never mind that by high school all the stoners wore their DARE t-shirts proudly.
The teacher in the classroom next to me had an adorable “Bugs Not Drugs” poster outside her door. I so love bugs, but THAT idea was taken. A first grade classroom had “Hugs not Drugs” featuring little children with outstretched hands. Can you say insufferably cute? So what was I going to do? One student in my class loved pugs….No, I don’t think so.
When I worked as substitute, I used to take pictures of interesting bulletin boards, or make notes when I saw cool stuff. I rummaged around and found a poem I’d seen in a high school classroom. I reread it and thought third graders could relate to it as well, as it’s all about peer pressure. It’s called Jellybeans Up Your Nose.
Not only did my third graders so “get it,” but they made a great poster and won the poster competition. When we talk about drugs in third grade, most kids think cigarettes. There are a few kids who confide that their parents drink beer. One boy confessed that his mother drank something called a Bloody Mary, not to be confused with the specter that haunts school bathrooms. I tell students that when it comes to alcohol, it’s all about moderation, so they don’t go home and give their parents a hard time. But I’ve also had kids whose lives have been torn apart by drugs and are all too familiar with crack cocaine and syringes. It makes for one very interesting conversation.
My students loved drawing pictures of the children with Xs for eyes and anime princesses with cigarettes dangling from their lips.
Jellybeans Up Your Nose
Johnny stuck jellybeans up his nose,
That’s a pretty dumb thing to do.
But the other kids said, “Hey Johnny’s real cool!
Let’s put beans in our noses too.”
Well, a kid can’t breathe with beans up his nose,
‘Cause they get all stuck inside.
So Johnny and the kids, well, I hate to say it,
But they coughed and they choked and they died.
That’s a pretty grim tale, I must admit,
And it may not all be true.
Still when somebody cool does something dumb.
You don’t have to do it too.
The origin of Red Ribbon Week is actually a pretty grim tale itself. To find out all about it, go to Red Ribbon Week on Wikipedia. It’s an interesting read. And it’s all true.
Being a G-Rated Teacher Sucks October 3, 2009
Posted by alwaysjan in Teaching.Tags: Dr. House, Education, Gay Students, House, Humor, Teaching, Teaching High School, Third Grade
5 comments
Third grade teachers don’t ever to go to the bathroom, and we certainly don’t swear. On some days I feel like Mary Poppins, when at heart I’m really Dr. House. But high school is a whole different ball game. When my son, Ian, walked into his art class on the first day of school, his teacher, Ms. Thurber, didn’t mince words. She’d been there, done that, and had the t-shirt to prove it.
She informed the class, “I don’t care who is gay, or who you think is gay. Just don’t carve it on the tables.” She continued, ”And if you feel like writing a note that says, ’F&ck Ms. Thurber,’ you can throw it over there on that pile with all the others.”
In a Dr. House vs. Ms. Thurber match-up, my money would be on the old girl. You gotta love a teacher who tells it like it is, but then I teach third grade. Would anyone like a spoonful of sugar?
Photo Credit: Dr. House by sweetxandxbitter on flickr.
Taking Technology for Granted – Louis CK September 29, 2009
Posted by alwaysjan in Food for Thought.Tags: Conan O'Brien, High Speed Internet, Humor, Louis CK, Technology, Travel
3 comments
When I first saw this I cracked up. It took me a while, but I tracked down this clip. I operate at twitch speed, so I can relate. This is me on an airplane. Enjoy.
Walking the Line September 21, 2009
Posted by alwaysjan in Teaching.Tags: Classroom Management, Education, Having Students Line Up, Humor, Lining Up, Teaching
6 comments
The quickest way from Point A to Point B is a straight line. But trying to get students to walk in a straight line is akin to herding cats. If I had a class pet, it would be a Australian Sheep Herding dog that could nip at my students’ heels to keep them in line. Ah, if only.
Two years ago, a veteran teacher announced she was going to retire. A week before the end of the school year, I heard her admonishing her first graders to walk in a straight line. OMG. Forty years in the classroom, and she was still repeating the same mantra about walking in a straight line on the very last week. Is this what the future holds for me? I’m afraid the answer is YES.
Why is it so important to walk in a straight line? First of all, my school is huge. If students walk all willy nilly, it’s a slippery slope. One minute they’re bunched together. Two seconds later, you’ve got a full-on stampede.
When I taught second grade, I used to say, “If you start talking, we stop walking!” And I/we did. One day we stopped 32 times on the way to lunch. Seriously. It took us 35 minutes to walk to the lunchroom which was visible from our classroom. I felt like a meanie, but when you have to do walk your class to lunch 180 times, you better get it right from the get go.
One day my students were so noisy in line that I pulled out my lunch and sat on a nearby wall. While they argued and pushed and shoved, I leisurely ate my lunch. ”Just because you guys aren’t ready, doesn’t mean I have to wait to eat,” I said, licking my lips. Can you say Dramatic Effect? I only had to do that once.
I also expect the line leader to set an example. No untied shoes in my line. If your shoelaces look like spaghetti, you have to step out of line to tie them, then go to the back of the line. When you’re in a leadership position, you’ve gotta be ready to roll. Some days the line stretches all the way down the hall. That’s when I say, “Hey, this line goes all the way to Las Vegas. What’s the problem?” The laggards speed up. You’ve got to be close enough to touch the person in front of you on the shoulder. My students know that if they have a problem lining up, they have a guaranteed spot – at the back of the line.
I’m also big on having students walk on the right side of the hall and when going up and down the stairs. I tell my students I’m teaching them to drive. They love to hear that. I also teach them how to do illegal U turns. They love it when I tell them we’re going to turn on a dime.
When my class goes to computer lab, we have to wind our way through those noisy smelly middle schoolers who are changing classes and slamming their locker doors. I’ve mistaken several middle schoolers for parents. I don’t know what these kids are eating, but they’re huge. I warn my students to stick close together because middle schoolers like to eat third graders. One day my students were walking in the hall and heard a middle schooler say, “Boy, I sure am hungry.” I’d never seen my students move so fast. But most important, they were walking in a straight line.
Photo taken at Zinnia in South Pasadena.
Making Book on Book Club September 15, 2009
Posted by alwaysjan in Life.Tags: Book Club, Book Clubs, Dawn French, Geraldine Granger, Humor, The Vicar of Dibley, White Tiger
7 comments
The three most important things about our book club are booze, food, and what’s that other one? Oh yeah – books. Our book club had a rather inauspicious beginning. Carmella saw the movie The Jane Austen Book Club. Next thing I knew, we had ourselves a book club.
Our first book was A Thousand Splendid Suns (Kelley’s pick) and we got off to a bang up start eating Middle Eastern food at her place. We’d all read the book and talking about women in burkas generated a lively discussion. That was almost two years ago. We’re all teachers, though we let Tina’s sister Angela join because she has a great house a high tolerance for “teacher talk.”
Some books we’ve liked more than others. To be honest, there’s been several times when half of the members downloaded excepts from the book on-line. I think Angela’s last pick How to Talk About Books You Haven’t Read was an apt choice. Angela was the only one who’d read it, but we still talked about it. And ate. And drank.
We’re all crazy busy, and it’s become apparent that Book Club is just an excuse to get together with people we really like under the guise of talking about books. I envisioned intellectual introspection, but what I got was a second helping of fettucini. Can’t remember the book, but the fettucini was killer.
When I went to England last spring, I went to my friend Lesley’s book club. We met at The Station, the local pub, where we spent a fun evening discussing the book White Tiger and the dark side of life in Mumbai while enjoying the local Asphal cider.
Last summer I visited my college roommate Cathy. She’s been in a book club for like a bazillion years. Her book club even has its own blog, Blather, which you’ll find on my blogroll. I was led to believe it was a Serious book club. But while I was there, Cathy’s husband made the observation that they only spend around 20 minutes actually talking about the book at book club. Hmmm. Come to think of it, the last post on Blather was a recipe!
Last Sunday we met at Kristina’s. In the evite there was mention of discussing a possible change to our “book club format.” Every other month? Only New York Times bestsellers? No. It was proposed that we have a theme for the food and everyone bring a potluck dish related to the theme. ”Will the theme be related to the book?” I asked naively. Kristina took a deep breath. “Well, we were thinking that maybe we could just leave out the book part.” She quickly added, “But we can still call it Book Club!” Oh dear. Is this The End or To Be Continued…?
When I emailed my friend Bev in England about this “change in format,” she sent me a link to a hilarious episode of The Vicar of Dibley about what happens at a book club when no one’s read the book. Actress Dawn French plays the female vicar, self-described as a “Babe with a bob cut and a magnificent bosom.” The book club scene is a minute into the clip and is a hoot. Cheers!
Being Facebook Friends with Stephan Pastis – Rats! September 8, 2009
Posted by alwaysjan in Blogging.Tags: Comics.com, Facebook Friends, Humor, Pearls Before Swine, Stephan Pastis
3 comments
Rat is booted off Facebook because he's a fictional character. He, as usual, gets his revenge.
I’m a big fan of the comic Pearls Before Swine. Brain surgeon that I am, one day I mentioned to my trainer Louis that he happened to have the same last name as the comic’s creator Stephan Pastis. “He’s my cousin,” Louis replied.
He then proceeded to dish the dirt, the way only those with a familial connection can. Okay, Louis is too nice to do that, but he did tell me that out of all the characters, his cousin is most like Rat. Then he showed me Stephan Pastis’s blog.
Louis hadn’t read his cousin’s blog in a while. We laughed ourselves silly reading about Louis’s wedding in It Is Dancing That I Fear. I came home and promptly added stephanpastis to my blogroll. When he posted about how he was desperate for Facebook friends, I succumbed and he “friended” me. Cool.
But I made the fatal error of commenting on one of his facebook status updates. How was I to know that so many of his 4,498 “friends” also felt compelled to comment? My computer dinged every time another person added a comment. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Never again.
I recently read Pastis’s post Love Thy Neighbor, or at Least Give Them Nicknames You Can Remember which is laugh out loud funny. If you’re living in a cave somewhere and haven’t seen Pearls Before Swine, you can learn all about the characters at Pearls Before Swine on Wikipedia. The strip is also on Comics.com. Enjoy.
Teachers Talking Trash September 5, 2009
Posted by alwaysjan in Teaching.Tags: Art Supplies, Education, Hoarding, Humor, Recyling, Teaching, The Life of a Teacher
4 comments
When you become a teacher, after you’re sworn in and take a vow of poverty, you’re given a list of items to immediately begin hoarding. Paper towel rolls, styrofoam meat trays, yarn, buttons, anything shiny. These items are no longer trash, but “treasures.” Yes, the photo is taken from a flyer teachers received. The trash treasure was coming to us! Of course by the time I saw this, the “Treasure Truck” had already come and gone. Not to worry. We teachers are a resourceful lot.
On the way to see Louis, my trainer, today I saw gold a dumpster. I casually walked by to check out the merchandise. Pay dirt! The local furniture store had thrown out piles of upholstery fabric samples. Each piece was on a miniature hanger, and my first thought was, “What could I use these teeny tiny hangers for? To hang up little books?” Fortunately, that thought passed. I blame it on the heat. It was over 100 degrees, but there I stood stocking up like a squirrel preparing for winter. There was just too much to take in. So now I’m waiting for the sun to set, so I can go back under the cover of darkness for all those vinyl flooring samples. They’ve got to be good for…something!
Last week after our class for our masters degree, my friend Teresa (who lives and breathes art) and I both spotted three bags of shredded documents sitting out in the hall. We couldn’t believe someone hadn’t already taken them. We convinced Erin, who’s in our cohort, to be our cohort in crime. With the bags slung over our backs like Santa, we made our way down the 180 steps to the parking lot below. More than once, Erin asked, “And why do you guys need these again?”
My bag is currently sitting on my living room couch. Oh, the possibilities! My husband just shakes his head. He once watched me climb into a dumpster in New York City to retrieve a cache of heavy duty cardboard rolls. Then there was that dinner we went to where I collected the mussel shells off everyone’s plates. That was for an art project. I had to soak those babies for three days in a bucket of vinegar to get rid of the stink.
Hey, it sure would stink if some other enterprising hoarder teacher beat me to those vinyl flooring samples. The sun has set. It’s time.
A Not So Proper English Crumble September 1, 2009
Posted by alwaysjan in Food, Recipes.Tags: Crumble, Desserts, England, English Crumble, Food, Fruit desserts, Recipes, Rhubarb Crumble, Summer Entertaining
3 comments
My friend Cathy and I made this blackberry/peach crumble with only one emergency email to England for advice.
To my mind, heaven on earth is a piece of pie for breakfast. So when I went to Suffolk, England last May for a week, I was only too happy to find a gooseberry crumble waiting on the counter with my name on it.
Americans are more familiar with fruit cobbler, or a fool, or a grunt, depending on what region of the country you live in. I’d never even heard of a crumble, but dang it was good! My friend Lesley showed me how to make one – a rhubarb crumble, which is the hands down favorite in England. According to her, all school girls in England learn to make a “proper” crumble. So when they talk about passing their “A” levels, they’re talking about being able to make “A” proper crumble.
When I was back visiting my friend Cathy in Kansas City, we decided to see if we make one ourselves with some blackberries from Cathy’s garden and peaches. It was delicious and her family devoured it (with a little help from me).
A Not-So-Proper English Crumble
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
The Filling
4 c. of fruit (pretty much the same as you’d use for a pie) Strawberry/rhubarb is a sure combination
1/4 to 1/2 c. sugar (rhubarb requires more – I tend to go light on the sugar)
If you’re so inclined, you can put a squirt of lemon juice in or a pinch of cinnamon.
Mix and put in an 8 x 8 or 9 x 9 ceramic dish.
For the crumble:
1 cup flour
3 oz. butter straight from the fridge, the colder the better.
3 oz. sugar
pinch of salt
1 handful or 1/4 to 1/3 cup of uncooked oatmeal
To make the crumble: Cut butter into squares and combine with flour. The key is to work quickly while the butter is cold. Work out the butter lumps using your thumb and index and middle fingers. It’s sort of a “give me the money gesture.” Keep your ring finger and pinky out of the action.
Stir the sugar into the mix and add a scoop of oatmeal. I used half a packet of instant oatmeal with flax the other day. Lesley used muesli cereal.
Sprinkle the crumble on top of the fruit, but don’t tap it down. Bake uncovered for 45 minutes. It will turn just slightly golden. It’s great served with vanilla ice cream, but I like it best the next day. There’s no day after that cause it’s all gone. Enjoy!
The Hills of Los Angeles Are Burning August 28, 2009
Posted by alwaysjan in Home Front.Tags: California, Fire Season, La Canada Fire, Southern California, The Hills of Los Angeles are Burning, Topanga Canyon, Wildfires in Los Angeles, Wildfires in Southern California
4 comments
For the most recent information on the Station Fire, click on Los Angeles County Fire Department.
I woke up at 6 a.m. when orange light filtered through the blinds. It’s fire season in Southern California. Four big fires are raging at the moment, several nearby. With the intense heat and all that dry brush, the fires came early this year. During the school year, we keep the students indoors when there’s a fire as many have asthma.
My heart goes out to all of those who’ve had to evacuate their homes. We have friends who lived in Topanga Canyon for many years, and it seemed like packing up the car with the kids, pets, and photos was an annual event. But it’s never easy.
It’s been over 100 degrees for three days now and I can’t imagine what it’s like for those fire fighters who are wearing all that heavy gear and fighting Mother Nature with a hose and a pick ax. I have to say that after living in NYC for 11 years, I have the utmost respect (bordering on awe) for firefighters.
When I first moved to California in the 70s, I remember standing on the roof of our garage and watching the hills in the distance burn. We were having a big party and ash fell on the guests like snow. I remember saying, “This is like the last days of Pompeii.” Two days ago, I woke up and walked out into the dining room. My house smelled like a campfire. Fire. It goes with living in Southern California. But it’s never easy.
Lyrics for Los Angeles is Burning by Bad Religion
Somewhere high in the desert near a curtain of blue
A sane man skirts under the wind
But down here in the city of limelights
The fans of Santa Ana are withering
And you can’t deny the living is easy
If you never look behind the scenery
It’s Showtime for dry climes
And bedlam is dreaming of rain
When the hills of Los Angeles are burning
Palm trees are candles in the MURDER wind
So many lives are on the breeze
Even the stars are ill at ease
And Los Angeles is burning
This is not a test
of the emergency broadcast system
When Malibu fires and radio towers
Conspire to dance again
And I cannot believe the Media Mecca
They’re only trying to peddle reality
Catch it on Prime Time
Story at nine
The whole world is going insane
When the hills of Los Angeles are burning
Palm trees are candles in the MURDER wind
So many lives are on the breeze
Even the stars are ill at ease
And Los Angeles is Burning
A placard reads “the end of days”
Jacaranda boughs are bending in the haze
More a question than a curse
How could hell be any worse?
The flames are stunning
The cameras running
So take warning!
When the hills of Los Angeles are burning
Palm trees are candles in the MURDER wind
So many lives are on the breeze
Even the stars are ill at ease
And Los Angeles is burning
Rearranging Deck Chairs on the Titantic aka Classroom Seating August 25, 2009
Posted by alwaysjan in Teaching.Tags: Classroom Management, Classroom Organization, Education, How to arrange desks, Humor, Seating arrangements, Teaching
6 comments
Over the summer, I’ve spent a good five minutes thinking about how I want to rearrange my classroom. I would have spent more time, but when I walk into my classroom after summer vacation, it looks like a scene from the Titanic – after it hit the iceberg.
To refinish the hardwood floors, the custodians move all the furniture to one side of the room, then shift it back to the other, to refinish the other side. It’s a wonder the school isn’t listing. The only thing that never moves is the monolithic black metal storage cabinet in the corner.
By the time I’ve unstacked all the chairs and tables, and dragged the double wide file cabinet back across the room where it’s supposed to go (putting fresh scuff marks on the refinished floor), my creative energy is spent. I’m tempted to arrange everything the way it was “before.” Unfortunately, if I’ve had a relaxing vacation it’s hard to remember what “before” looked like. That’s why I take lots of pictures at Open House. That’s as good as it gets. When I look at the pictures it all comes back to me. Then I start dragging those bookcases. If only the wheel had been invented when they designed all that heavy school furniture.
For the first two years, I had my students sit in two inverted F formations ideal for direct instruction. ”One, two, three – All eyes on me!” Because some idiot bolted the overhead screen to the far right side of the whiteboard, all of the students need to be seated to one side of the room so they can see it. Grrr…
Last year I had students sit at tables. I’d resisted tables for years as I don’t trust kids when I can’t see their faces. That’s probably because whenever I go to professional developments and find my back to the presenter, I immediately start doodling or holding up funny signs to see if I can make the people across the table laugh.
That said, the table arrangement worked out pretty well. I had two tables of six at the back of the room and two tables of four at the front. I haven’t quite figured out how it’s going to work with increased class sizes this year. I await divine inspiration (and additional desks and tables).
On the first day of school I always let students sit wherever they want. I can quickly see who shouldn’t be sitting next to who. By the second day, the seats they are a changin’. As Chinese military strategist Sun-tzu said in 400 B.C., “You’ve got to keep your friends close and your enemies problem students closer.
Before I had my credential, I worked as a substitute, which to my mind is the best possible training for any aspiring teacher. I remember walking into a middle school classroom and seeing a table full of boys at the back of the class. No teacher in her right mind would put all those boys together. So I did what any cracker jack sub would do – I lied.
I announced that the teacher had left me a seating chart. (I would have settled for lesson plans!) “I’m going to turn around and count to 30. When I’m done, you better be back in your seat, or I’m going to start writing referrals,” I said. I turned my back and began counting. As I heard the frantic game of musical chairs underway, I couldn’t help but smile.
When I turned back around I was greeted by a sea of smiling faces. My bag of tricks is bottomless. That’s why I’m the teacher.
Barack Obama is a Narcissist and Other Urban Legends August 23, 2009
Posted by alwaysjan in Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Politics.Tags: Barack Obama, Disinformation, Email Forwards, Faith Freedom, Is Obama a narcissist?, Narcissism, Narcissist, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Politics, Sam Vaknin, Snopes, The Internet, Urban Legends
7 comments
Several friends and relatives forwarded me the email Obama is a Narcissist purportedly written by Sam Vaknin, “a world authority on narcissism.” It goes on to say, “He (Vaknin) understands the inner mind of a narcissist like no other person. When he talks about narcissism, everyone listens.” Whoa, let’s take a deep breath.
What the email fails to mention is that Sam Vaknin was diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) in 1984. And that title of Dr. before his name? Shmuel (Sam) Vaknin’s resume reports that he completed nine semesters at the Technion-Israel Institute of Technology, in Haifa. His doctorate is not in psychology, but in philosophy and was received from Pacific Western University, an unaccredited on-line diploma mill based in California. (Operators are standing by, if you too would like add Dr. to your name) Vaknin, an Israeli citizen, was incarcerated in Israel for white collar fraud and currently resides in Macedonia.
Although the Obama is a Narcissist email references some of Vaknin’s writing and includes a header suggesting he is the author, the article was actually published Sept. 8, 2008 by Ali Sina on the FaithFreedom.org (FFI) site as Understanding Obama: The Making of a Fuehrer. How do I know this? I credit Snopes.com. Since 1981, Snopes founders, Barbara and David Mikkelson, have made it their job to investigate information flying around out there on the internet, and provide a much needed reality check.
FFI identifies itself as “a grassroots worldwide movement of ex-Muslims and all those who are concerned about the rise of the Islamic threat.” Its publisher, an Iranian who lives in Canada, uses the pseudonym “Ali Sina.”
If you’ve received the above email (there are numerous versions flying through cyberspace), you know it quickly goes off the deep end. Obama is likened to Jim Jones, the charismatic cult leader of the the People’s Temple, who led over 900 of his followers to commit mass suicide. The email says they did so “cheerfully.” Sina’s ugly diatribe refers to Obama’s supporters as “worshippers” and wastes no time in comparing Obama to Jim Jones, Stalin, and Hitler. Sina has said on the website that he hopes Obama will be executed by electrocution and subscribes to the conspiracy about Barack Obama’s birth. Wingnuts unite!
My outrage about the above circulating email is two-fold. First, it’s a lie and a blatant misrepresentation of the facts. I only worked briefly as a journalist, but the journalistic mantra is “a reliable source.”
Secondly, as someone who’s written quite a bit on Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), I know those with NPD are pathological liars. So to my mind that negates Vaknin’s observations made from half-way around the world. Vaknin has provided incredible insights into his own narcissism for which I’m grateful. It’s important to note that those with NPD crave attention, but will settle for notoriety. The email circulating provides this to Vaknin in abundance.
I’m most disappointed with how quick people are to use and abuse the term “narcissist.” I realize many don’t know any better. That’s why I write what I do. For the record. narcissism runs on a continuum from healthy narcissism (Healthy Ego) to Destructive Narcissistic Patterns (Me is getting in the way of Us) to Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or as Vaknin refers to his NPD, Malignant Narcissism.
I can’t imagine how any politician or leader could rise to power without a healthy/hefty dose of narcissistic traits. Think alpha male. But this doesn’t mean they have NPD. One tell-tale sign of those with NPD is they’re unable to maintain a healthy emotional relationship with significant others. Someone better tell Michelle and the girls.
I highly recommend that when an email is forwarded to you, you run it by Scopes.com. I recently was forwarded Cancer Update from Johns Hopkins University. When it started talking about how ingesting dairy products creates mucus and how some forms of cancer thrive in mucus, it got me to wondering. I went to Scopes and sure enough they’d already done the research. John Hopkins issued a rebuttal stating that the circulating email is a total fabrication.
If you have trouble remembering the name Snopes, you can do like I do. It rhymes with Scopes, as in the Scopes Monkey Trial. There’s a cure for ignorance – It’s called education.
Photo Credit: Google Images
Why I Love Dogs August 17, 2009
Posted by alwaysjan in Pets.Tags: Dog Intelligence, Dogs, Dogs as Companions, Dogs as Smart as Toddlers, Health, Humor, Oxytocin, Pets
6 comments
Mario's dog Spaghetti belts out a tune
My dogs keep me sane. Just when I’m taking myself or the world way too seriously, our two mutts Petey and Reese engage in their nightly wrestling match that is every bit as entertaining as Lucha Libre. Same thing every night, and every night I laugh hysterically. Every morning Reese sits just inside the dog door so our pig Maisie can’t come in the house. Then later in the day, Maisie lounges in front of the dog door so the dogs can’t go out. It’s like having toddlers again.
The pig thinks she is a dog and lines up with them for a treat. We refer to them as The Three Amigos. Petey, who we believe is half coyote, is the hunter. His prize catch is a sock, which he carries proudly around the house. Thank god dogs threw their lot in with humans, or Petey would have starved to death in the wild.
I recently read two interesting articles on dogs. MSNBC featured an article Dogs are Smarter Than Toddlers. Neither of my dogs would qualify for Mensa as they’re blissfully happy to be canine underachievers.
Pet Dogs Rival Humans for Emotional Satisfaction in New Scientist is also a good read. Researchers found that after playing with their dogs, people showed an increase in oxytocin, known as the “cuddle chemical.” I could have saved those researchers a big wad of cash and told them that up front. Nothing helps put the problems of the world in perspective like a good game of fetch.
My father-in-law’s dog, Penny, recently died after a long happy dog life. He so misses her company that he’s taken to walking his neighbor’s dog every night. Our friend Mario, who’s an opera singer, took the picture of his dog Spaghetti who loved to sit alongside him at the piano and play and sing. Spaghetti has since gone to doggie heaven. Spaghetti’s successor Linguini is no musical prodigy, but more importantly, he’s a dog.
Best Friends Forever August 14, 2009
Posted by alwaysjan in Personal.Tags: Back to School, Best Friends, Blogging, Deanna Rose Children's Farm, Friendship, Humor, On-line cards, one-room schoolhouse, Ordering greeting cards on-line, Personalized cards, Teaching
4 comments
Someone needed to talk me off the ledge, and Cathy’s card arrived just in time. A card for me? Was it my birthday? I actually had to think about this. Since I’ve been in my masters program and knee-deep in data, I’m not even sure what day of the week it is. Wait a minute – my birthday is in April. Now curious, I tore open the envelope.
Cathy’s a fabulous photographer, who’s usually stalking butterflies and other six-legged creatures with her camera. While I visited her in Kansas City in July, she took pictures at the one-room school house at the Deanna Rose Children’s Farm, which she used for the card above. You can find Cathy’s cards at It’s a Beautiful World. I ordered several and they were top quality and arrived quickly. But here’s what I didn’t know. You can personalize the cards at no extra cost and and even change the message and the font, which is what Cathy did to the card above.
So here’s the personalized message that kept me from jumping off the ledge. I’m sure Cathy won’t mind me sharing it, and I won’t mind if you steal it, though I’m crossing out the stuff that might not apply to you. For the record, I actually cried when I read it.
Dearest Jan,
I’ve really enjoyed our friendship through the years.
You’re so much fun and have a delightful, brilliant and hilarious
take on the world. I’ve loved all of your tales of school and of your other adventures.
I definitely wish that I’d had a teacher like you!
It’s been great blogging along side you in cyberspace.
Your visit here was fabulous!
Hopefully, I’ll see more of you.
I’m so grateful I have you as my best friend forever!
Love, Cathy
FYI: I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming that you are also delightful, brilliant and hilarious. If your name is not Cathy, you might want to change that too. First day of school, this will be sitting on my desk. Thanks Cathy!
You can find more of Cathy’s photos on Catherinesherman, which is on my blogroll.
Swine Flu in a Classroom Near You August 9, 2009
Posted by alwaysjan in Health, Teaching.Tags: Education, Health, Humor, Pigs, Preparing for the Swine Flu, Swine Flu, Swine Flu and Schools, Swine Flu in the classroom, Swine Flu Precautions, Teaching
6 comments
I’ve read three articles in as many days advising schools how to handle an outbreak of the swine flu. I had my pig Maisie do some research, and she’s reported back with her findings: Although it might not be on your initial class roster, it seems the swine flu is set to enter your classroom this fall.
Federal officials at the Center for Disease Control (CDC) are recommending that schools be closed as a last resort. The New York Times has all the news that’s fit to print, so if you want to check out more stats, acronyms, and some recommendations, click on that link. You can also check out flu.gov.
Fortunately, the initial panic about the swine flue as a pandemic that could potentially kill millions has subsided. But the swine flu is still no laughing matter. Over one million Americans have been infected so far. If you’re a teacher, you’re already accustomed to being on the front lines. Or should I say the first in line to get “what’s going round.” Children have an uncanny ability to sneeze, cough, hack, spew, vomit… Okay, I could go on, but you get the picture. To date, the flu aka H1N1 has been mild and has not mutated – yet. (Cue scary music.)
I, for one, am marshaling all my resources. All teachers are issued a first-aid kit at the start of the year. The first year I kept looking for this “kit.” I finally realized it’s a Ziploc bag containing a pair of latex gloves, some band-aids, and a few cotton balls thrown in for good measure.
The CDC suggested that schools might want to issue masks to personnel. Sounds good, but I’d settle for kleenex. Last year, my students were reduced to blowing their noses on art tissue paper. Hey, it works. But when I tore off a piece of bright green tissue paper and handed it to my new student from Korea, I was shocked when I saw the dye had rubbed off on his upper lip. He had a bright green Charlie Chaplin mustache that wouldn’t wash off. So, kleenex would be good.
It was also suggested that teachers could move students’ desks father apart. Now, my students don’t have individual desks. They sit at tables for two, and now that my class size has been upped from 20 to 24, I’m still trying to figure out where to put THOSE kids. My cup may runneth over, but the space in my classroom does not. The CDC recommends that schools might want to offer web-based instruction for students out sick. Can you hear me laughing hysterically?
One final note. My pig Maisie wanted to make sure I mentioned the CDC said “People cannot become infected by eating pork or pork products. Cooking pork to an internal temperature of 160 degrees Farenheit kills the virus as well as other bacteria.” Maisie doesn’t actually recommend EVER cooking pork.
She also wants you to know she’s never been sick a day in her life. Okay, there was that time she ate five pounds of butter set aside for Christmas baking. But that would upset your tummy too. On a more positive note, Maisie smelled like a butter cookie for a week.
Bad Guys Really Do Get the Most Girls August 2, 2009
Posted by alwaysjan in Narcissistic Personality Disorder.Tags: Affairs, Anti-Social Personality Disorder, Bad boys, Dark Triad, Health, Latent Homosexual, Narcissism, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, NPD, Personality Disorders, Psychopathy, Relationships, Serial Cheating, Somatic Narcissists
9 comments
After I’d written a recent post on Narcissistic Personality Disorder, a friend commented, “I see you’re still into NPD.” It’s not so much that I’m “into” it, as I’m “onto” it. I have clarity now about this insidious personality disorder and want to help others. If you’re a new reader, do not proceed without reading my 3-part series Close Encounter with a Narcissist first. It will bring you up to speed so you don’t need subtitles.
All of the narcissists I’ve seen up close and personal were cerebral, so when readers ask about somatic narcissists, it’s like asking my dog what it’s like to be a cat. That said, I have friends who’ve been there, done that, and they’ve got stories to tell.
In my opinion, somatic narcissists are quicker to show up on the radar. They’re serial cheaters, always looking for another sexual conquest to keep them high on new Narcissistic Supply (NS). It doesn’t matter if they’re married or in a relationship. It doesn’t matter if YOU are married or in a relationship. They seek sex as validation that the False Self they’ve constructed is, in fact, real. They offer no genuine apologies when they’re caught. Their lack of remorse should be a major Red Flag.
Women have described that often after sex, they felt like they might as well have been a blow up doll. Although all male narcissists prefer autoerotic sex (masturbation and porn) to sex with a real woman, sometimes they manage to have sex with someone/something with a pulse. Pity that person. (If you’re dealing with a woman with NPD, I suggest you check out A Shrink for Men on my blogroll.)
This is in sharp contrast to cerebral narcissists, who can be extremely flirtatious, but quickly lose all interest in sex. It is through witholding sex from their partner that they maintain control. Because they’re essentially asexual, this is no problem for them. My sister-in-law was married to one for 15 years and swore she could count how many times they’d had sex by counting her children. Eight, for the record. At one point, she thought quite possibly her husband was gay because of his lack of interest in sex. Numerous other women have written and asked whether a man with NPD might actually be a latent homosexual. Maybe, but probably not. They’re just not that into women – real ones that is.
I have a married friend who had a brief affair with a man she later realized was a somatic narcissist. He pursued her relentlessly, and then… He was on to the next best thing. She referred me to an article in the New Scientist entitled Bad Guys Really Do Get the Most Girls. It was the first time I’d ever heard of the “dark triad” of personality traits, which includes narcissism. Machiavellianism, another one of the traits, is anti-social personality disorder by another name. Think: The Bermuda Triangle in human form. And you don’t want to go there.
Summer Means Sangria July 27, 2009
Posted by alwaysjan in Recipes.Tags: Drinks, Entertaining, Humor, Recipes, Sangria, Summer drinks, Summer Entertaining
6 comments
My first experience with sangria put me off the stuff for 20 years. My college roommates, Mary and Elisse, mixed up a batch in the bathtub of our apartment for a party. It was either one very small bathtub or one very big party. Gallons of cheap jug wine with apples bobbing and orange slices floating on top. What was that subtle aftertaste – Ajax?
But my husband Richard makes killer sangria, which is what you get to drink if you come to my house. Richard’s one of those people who doesn’t need a recipe. A little bit of this. A little bit of that. He’s an alchemist in the kitchen.
Since I do need a recipe, when he made sangria the other night, I made him stop and measure everything he was “throwing” into the mix. According to Richard, the exact amounts aren’t all that important “because alcohol covers up any indiscretions.” He also said when it comes to ingredients, the cheaper the better.
We tried the sangria at Gus’s the other night, and I dare say it was just a notch above Richard’s. But my alchemist quickly figured out they’d added some Southern Comfort, though the waitress said she’s wasn’t allowed to tell what was in it. So that’s the newest addition to the recipe and it rocks. One pitcher serves 6 (at two glasses apiece). The pitcher goes fast, so you might want to have ingredients for more than one batch.
Richard’s Sangria
Ingredients
1 bottle red wine (cheaper the better)
2 oz. Triple Sec
2 oz. brandy
1 oz. Southern Comfort
10 oz. seltzer
2 oranges
1 apple
1/3 c. sugar
fresh mint (optional, but it’s dang good)
Directions
In a cup, combine 1/3 c. sugar and 1/3 c. water. Put in microwave until sugar dissolves and forms “simple syrup.” Add to pitcher along with the juice from 1 orange (seeds removed), brandy, Triple Sec, Southern Comfort, red wine, and seltzer.
Slice 1 orange, then cut slices into quarters
Slice 1 apple, cutting away midsection with seeds
Add fruit, lots of ice, and a sprig of fresh mint. Enjoy!
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